My Pursuit of Happiness

Venus and Mars go to College: Relationships, Why They are Important and Why They Suck!

2011-12-20T12:05:00.000-08:00

Good evening. Hope everyone had a good week.

Relationships come in all shapes, sizes and forms. There are several types of relationships: friendships, family, and romantic. We have all had them, or wish we hadn't. I have come to find, and science has proven, that people are happier when they have a strong support system. I'm sure you all have friends and/or family who you tell everything to. Relationships with others are important because they allow you to express your feelings. Kind of like a therapy session but without the $200 bill. My friends and I go out to wing night at a local restaurant, to catch up on each others' week, to share good or bad news and rant and about work and how stupid men are. This week I also tried to reconnect with friends and family I had lost touch with. This past weekend was the first weekend I've spent with my Dad in over a 2 months. Granted my Dad and I have never had the best relationship, but I now feel closer to him than I did before. It's a nice feeling.

As far as romantic relationships go I'm still looking. I saw a book at Barns and Noble so titled "Dating Makes You Want to Die." Yes it does! Sometimes it's hard to find someone that shares the same values. That's what I'm experiencing right now. I think it's that "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" thing. Sometimes it's like you don't even speak the same language. In college you meet all kinds and it's up to you to sort out which ones are friendship material, which ones are dating material, and which ones are marriage material. And if you are waiting for marriage, like me, it's extremely difficult to find someone else who also wants to wait. I have relatives telling me that I'm too picky. What do they want me to do, date someone that I don't click with? Or just find a "nice guy?" Being nice can only get you so far. What about the other qualities? What about taste in music? Are they going somewhere in life? Are you even compatible? Someone could be the nicest person in the world and you two still may not be compatible. Through all this though, I am glad to say that I am friends with all my exes and, in the words of one of them, "You know what you deserve...Don't settle for anything less." Why settle for someone or something that won't make you happy?

Now for the one thing everyone hates about relationship: when they end. Everyone has been through some kind of break up, and though it is sad to see a good thing come to an end, sometimes it is necessary. I personally have had to bring friendships to an end because of the drama that the other person was causing. These kind of people are called "Toxic Friends," these are not the kind of people you want in your life. As for romantic break ups, I think of it as a "God Blessed the Broken Road." even though it hurts and you think you are never going to love again, you get yourself through it and you are stronger than you were before. You learn from your mistakes, and find someone better than the last.

The fact that relationships can suck is an universal truth, but their advantages definitely outweigh the disadvantages. You learn from mistakes. You kick "Toxic Friends" to the curb and you surround yourself with people that truly care about you and make you happy. And whatever you do, don't settle for anything less.

What Makes Us Happy?

2011-12-11T16:29:00.000-08:00

On beginning my quest for happiness I asked myself the million dollar question: What is happiness? The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines happiness as "a state of well-being and contentment." That led to another question. How to we achieve this state of contentment. What is it that makes us happy? According to Teaching Happiness,Inc. there are seven factors that lead to happiness: Relationships - connections with others, Altruism- caring for others, Exercise, Flow - working towards long term goals, Spiritual Engagement and Meaning, Strengths and Virtues and Positive Thinking. So is all we have to do is combine these seven ingredients and dig into a big bowl of happiness soup? Lets hope because the taste of absolute happiness is bound to be sweet.

For my next seven posts I will be going further into detail of the factors of happiness. I'm going to take a factor each week and take some action/risk in order to increase happiness in that area. Plus, these topics are so broad that they need their own posts. Tune in next week for Relationships.

"Well Ain't That a Kick in the Head"

2011-12-05T15:01:00.000-08:00

Have you ever been at the point in your life where everything seemed to go wrong at once? Well that has been my life for the past four years. In the past four years I have been to 8 funerals, 4 Break-ups (2 of which were with the same guy) and 3 Weddings (Which includes the 2 awkward ones when my exes showed up). On top of all that I had to transition into college and deal with things like final exams. These are things that everyone deals with, but it really hit me a few weeks ago when my mother received a letter from her lawyer. It was her Last Will and Testament, where she left everything to me. It was like a slap in the face. I guess seeing it in black and white made me come to the realization that my mother, who had been one of my best friends since birth, would eventually die. Not just that she will die but we all will. I always knew that life wasn't easy, that eventually everyone you know will leave you either through death or their own free will. So at that moment I also realized that I need some major happiness in my life. One of my best friends once told me that "happiness comes from within. I know that sounds like a damn fortune cookie but it's true." So if Happiness comes from within, what makes us happy? So I decided to find out. For the next year I'm going to live my life and do things that will make me happy, and post it on this blog so whoever follows it can apply it to their own lives. Everyone deserves happiness, and if you don't have it, As Dean Martin would say "Well ain't that a kick in the head."